To Be Borne
by brightspark
Summary: Bad news for Garden, and bad news, especially, for Selphie.


Selphie was pretty strong, and Squall knew it. She had a remarkable ability to bounce straight back from any problem and that, really, was what he had to count on. No matter what the situation, no matter how hard his job was getting, Selphie was, strangely, the best person to turn to. In fact, he would never have said it before, but she really had the potential for command. She could, at least, keep morale up. She'd once jokingly said that since Squall was the commander, she should be the morale officer for Garden. He wasn't sure that it was actually so bad an idea.

But there had to be some situations she'd just fold under. The problem was that he had no idea what they would be. She'd been fine when it involved her former home. She had been a great support during the battles against Ultimecia. When people wanted to arrest Seifer, it was Selphie who went to tell them, cheerfully, exactly why they shouldn't, when the reasons began with Seifer's innocence and ended with the fact that Garden would fight to protect one of their own in trouble.

She'd said it in a way that convinced everybody, too.

When tensions exploded, Selphie was always the one who, with a smile and a bounce, could resolve it. Squall didn't know what he'd do without her. But he also thought that this new situation might just be the one that cracked open the cheerful face.

"Xu," Squall said, quietly, and she looked up at him with a calm expression. She, too, was someone he could rely on. He was thankful for it. Calm, steadying Xu, and impulsive, uplifting Selphie. He needed them both, and if he'd had a god or goddess, he was quite sure he'd pray every night that he wouldn't lose either of them.

Not to say that Zell and Quistis weren't important, not to say that _anybody_ was less important than Xu and Selphie, but still, those two... he wasn't sure how he could work without them.

"Sir?" Xu asked, straightening a little and giving him a brief salute once she saw that she had his attention. "Should I make a Garden-wide announcement?"

"No," he replied, shaking his head and drumming his fingers against the desk. When that nervous habit didn't work, he rubbed at his scar. Finally, he decided. "Call Selphie Tilmitt to my office over the announcement system. That should wake her up if she's still asleep."

"Of course, sir," Xu said, and went off to make an announcement from her own desk. Quite frankly, Squall wasn't sure if he'd be able to. He hoped that Selphie could cope with it, then she and Xu could handle things. He just didn't have enough tact to make the Garden-wide announcement of the incident, for a start. He listened as Xu made the announcement calling Selphie, and wondered how he could ever tell Selphie. Never mind telling Garden; he had enough problems with telling close friends.

He heard Selphie before he saw her, heard her chatting to Xu, heard her footsteps coming down the hall with a bit of a bounce in them. He tried to look busy when she arrived in his office, because he wasn't quite sure what to do, what to say. He hoped she would start the conversation.

"Waiting for others to speak first again, commander?" she asked, teasingly, leaning over his desk to look into his eyes, her own eyes twinkling with mischief. "What've I told you about that? You can't be shy when it comes to dealing with people."

"Sorry," he murmured, with an almost guilty look.

"And no saying sorry! You've got to pretend you're ruthless!" she laughed, pulling up a chair and sitting in it in front of his desk. "So, what do you want with me, Squall?"

"Actually..." he sighed. "I don't have anything happy to tell you."

"You never do."

"Right," he said, and he smiled a little for a moment before the smile just died. "But, Selphie... this time it really is serious. The mission Irvine was on..."

Selphie looked down at her hands in her lap, twisting them together until her knuckles were white. Squall wanted to kick himself because he just didn't know how to say it. How do you tell someone that a friend, a close friend, possibly more than a friend, is dead? Squall was no good at it. He preferred to just be told. Bluntly.

"Irvine... had an accident," he managed, "during a battle. He fell and... in the rush..."

Selphie was pale, and trembling. Squall didn't know what to do, but thankfully, she kept talking, not retreating into silence. He'd have retreated into silence, refusing to respond, mourning in silence. She kept talking, which was almost a relief. He could deal with talking, even if it was just by telling whoever was talking to shut up. He couldn't cope with people who were as silent in the face of grief as he was. "No one healed him? Used a phoenix down? No one..."

"There was no time," he said, and wished he didn't have feelings, because it was agonising to see her like that. He saw tears in her eyes and looked away in alarm, giving her a moment and then clearing his throat. "I'm sending out a group of SeeDs to retrieve his body."

"It's okay, Squall," she said, quietly. "I'll lead them."

"Are you sure?"

Selphie got up, smoothing out her dress and shaking her head slightly. "Really, Squall, you're doubting me? I'll be just fine. Things like this happen, and we just have to grin and bear it."

Her grief had lasted all of ten minutes, if that. It was if, for a moment, it had consumed her, and then a new, stronger, Selphie had been born. Squall watched her with a little awe as she mustered a smile, wiping her eyes.

"Are you going to announce it?"

"Yes, but I wanted to tell you first..."

"Thanks," she smiled approval, and then she put her hand on the door, about to leave. "If there's nothing else...?"

"Nothing," he began, and then he looked up, running a hand through his hair, wondering what other people might do in his position. Other people who were less socially useless. Selphie herself, if she was commander and speaking to him... "If you need anyone to talk to..."

He let it trail off.

Selphie gave him a simple smile. "I'll be fine. I always am."

He was still afraid of the day that she'd face something that was too much for her, a fire of emotion too strong for her to brush off and learn from. But even this hadn't really held her back. He wondered if, in a way, she was even more insensitive than him for this trait. Everything that happened, anything that was bad, it was just something to be borne with a smile. Her attitude was always "grin and bear it".

He leaned over to the microphone. If Selphie could go and retrieve Irvine's body, he sure as hell could make a simple announcement. _Balamb Garden, this is Commander Squall Leonhart speaking. I'm... sorry to have to inform you of an accident that happened..._

Selphie heard the announcement from the lift. She forced the tears back, and smiled approval of Squall's strength. She wished she was as strong as he was. 


End file.
